Celibacy versus Marriage
Those of you who are married, might find the reading from St. Paul (1 Cor 7:32-35) somewhat irritating.
First of all, I am not interested in engaging in church politics, but as an unmarried man I would simply like to share my insights and personal perspective on the topic of my life as a celibate priest.
In Saint Paul’s thought process, it would seem that a celibate life is a kind of higher, purer and much more pleasing form of life to God. Paul writes that the celibate person “is anxious about the things of the Lord,” and how to please the Lord.
Those who are married, however, live entirely for “things of the world” and for their spouse.
Radically interpreted, it would seem that marriage is a very selfish, worldly way of life. I will give Saint Paul the benefit of the doubt, as he was living in the Parousia, the End Times as it were. Everyone believed that Christ would returned at any moment. Paul thought that Jesus would return to earth very soon bringing the final judgement and that one should be celibate and therefore free from all that is earthly. It is now almost 2,000 years later and the Lord does not seem to be in any big hurry with his return. With this in mind, what sense does celibacy still make for Roman Catholic priests?
Expecting Everything from This Life?
Dear Friends,
Perhaps in these days, in our daily challenging situations, there is a need for such a sign. Perhaps it was clear for Paul and many of his contemporaries: this remaining time is just a transitional period until the actual life in fullness begins with the return of the Lord.
In my point of view: The longer people have to wait for Jesus’ return, the more we lose sight that there is more to life than just our time here on Earth. The longer this wait takes, the more people tend to focus on their current, earthly lives, losing sight of their spiritual beliefs or their greater purpose.
As the hope of the hereafter begins to diminish, the idea that everything must be packed in this earthly life. It reminds me of a song from my youth by Queen. Freddie Mercury sings in the refrain: “I want it all and I want it now!” Basically, I want to get as much as possible out of my short and limited life, because afterwards, it is all over. Would it not be helpful to have a sign that clearly shows us that our life here on this Earth is not everything!
There is more to life! Something more crucial and decisive. For me, I understand celibacy as a lifestyle choice. It is an expression of voluntarily giving up many of the things that help give life meaning and fulfilment. For me, my celibacy means that I trust in the promise of a more complete and fulfilled life that has not yet been realised. I have so much faith in it that I voluntarily choose to give up the joys and experiences that come from marriage, living in a partnership, sexuality and having children.
Marriage and Celibacy Complement Each Other
Maybe it sounds like those who live a celibate life are more pious or pleasing to God and that those who are married only think about their earthly happiness and time here on earth. No, my friends, that is not what this is about. It is not a competition, but they are lifestyles decisions which should compliment each other. The married person encounters Christ in their spouse. In the love they have for each other, their tenderness and the care they show for one another, they encounter the love, tenderness and care of God. We need each other: married people need the celibate, and vice versa.
In the fruit of their love, parents-to-be experience this divine love in a very special way: through a child.
A child opens the door to something bigger. I love the Swiss Eucharistic Prayer, when we say that God is like a good father and a loving mother. With this image in mind, we experience that God is very close to us. In this way, married couples experience and feel a divine love within their marriage.
In the same way, the celibate experiences the divine love as a precious gift to give up everything in favour of the heavenly kingdom. Certainly, Saint Paul didn’t want to create a conflict or competition between the choice of marriage and the choice of celibacy. His intention was to make people attentive and vigilant towards Jesus. Because with Christ Jesus, something new begins. Something that surpasses everything we can possibly imagine on earth. In marriage we can find a glimpse of God’s kingdom. It is a kingdom that has already begun, but its ultimate reality and fullness is still to come.
At this point, as a celibate priest I would like to thank all married couples and all the unmarried for their life, their commitment and their testimony to love.
You are an inspiration to me. Thank you.